Afraid
by digitalprints
Summary: His words rush back to me. It gets too hard and you leave. And he's right. I didn't even fight for him. I just gave up. Just like that, I ended one of the best things that happened to me because I was afraid.


_AN:_ This one is a continuation to **One Last Cry**. I didn't really plan on writing a continuation to my previous one-shot but my muse came calling and I just started writing. This time, its in Gabriella's POV. Not any fluff but it does show Gabriella's feelings post-breakup and it's also my take on Taylor-Gabriella friendship. Inspired by Vanessa Hudgens' song Afraid. Enjoy.

_Disclaimer:_ I don't own anything.

* * *

**Afraid**

"Gabs, you can't just stay up here forever. You have to get out, move on... isn't that what you wanted?"

"Tay, I'm not in the mood to hang out. I just want to read this and be alone."

"You've been alone ever since you guys broke up. You've closed yourself to the outside world, Gabs."

"I have a right to wallow in my pain. I just broke up with my boyfriend of two years. Two. I have a right to grieve."

"What you're doing, barely going out, barely eating, stressing over school and nothing else, it isn't healthy, Gabriella. You're miserable and you miss him - ah, don't lie to me. I know you."

"Not well enough." But we both know that's a lie.

"BS and don't even say it. I watched you cry your heart out when you found out about him and Sharpay. I watched throw yourself into school. I watched you wallow after you broke up with him. You're miserable when you were with him after finding out but you're more miserable now that he's gone."

I look at her and not say anything for awhile. What else is there to say? Everything she said is true. I barely get any sleep. I have a hard time eating. I barely function these days.

It's been weeks since I last saw him. Weeks since I was in his arms, happy and content. Following the breakup, I did my best to avoid him. I stopped going to our secret hideout. I stopped visiting the ice cream parlor where he first took me out for our first date. I stopped going to the bookstore I always frequent just because it's right in front of the park where he and his friends always play basketball. I stopped eating at the cafeteria, in fear of seeing him. I stopped having a life... gawd, I really am pathetic.

"I'm just not ready, Tay."

"Well, locking yourself up in your room isn't going to help. Gabs, you love him. You never stopped loving him. And I know you don't want to talk about it but you have to let it out."

"_Let it out_? _Let it out_? He cheated on me. I broke up with him. End of story. What else is there left to elaborate on. It's as simple as that."

"Gabriella, look at me. You love the man. I don't understand why you're doing this. Punishing both him and yourself for a mistake we both know isn't just Troy's doing."

"I don't want to hear it Taylor. Just stop and leave."

"No. I'm not gonna stand by and not do anything while my best friend is stupid enough to throw away one of the greatest thing that happened to her. I'm not."

"Oh, you're siding with him now. That _'greatest thing'_ you're talking about cheated on me." I stand up and walk towards the door, opening it and motioning for her to leave.

"I'm not gonna leave Gabriella. You and I are going to talk about this."

"When did you become such a bitch?" I angrily retort.

"When did you become so pathetic?"

"Ouch."

"Gabriella."

"What do you want from me Tay. You want to talk about my feelings. I'm hurt. I'm angry. I'm miserable. I hate him for sleeping with her. But you know what I hate the most, the fact that I can't hate him at all, no matter how much I try to."

By now, tears are running down my cheeks. I slide down the door and hug myself.

"I love him and I can't hate him for it. He's moving on and I'm all alone, I can't just forgive and forget, Tay... and I hate it."

She moves forwards and hugs me.

"Gabs, you have forgiven him. You're hurt and you're angry but at the end of the day, you miss him. You miss the flowers that he always leaves at your locker. You miss the little things that he does to make you laugh when you're having a bad day. You miss him. And FYI: the boy hasn't moved on."

"He cheated on me. And that's one thing that I never thought he would do"

"And he's paying for it. He's as miserable as you, Gabriella. He stopped going to the park with the guys. I haven't seen him at the ice cream parlor in days. And I bet you that he hasn't been up to your hideout after you guys broke up. He's hurting just like you. I mean, he looks like a shadow of his previous self. And according to the cheerleaders, his hotness level went down a notch. And that says something, girl."

She smiles and I'm glad for the momentary comic relief.

Knowing that Troy is also miserable provides me little comfort. Maybe I have forgiven him but how do we move on from here? How do we rebuild our relationship?

I wipe away some of the tears in my cheeks. We just sit there until I stand up and bring out a box that is lying on the corner of my room. Taylor looks up and inquires about the box.

"It's my Troy box. After we broke up, I placed all the things that reminded me of him. Books that he bought me. T-shirts and sweaters that he has left over here. Cds. Movies that we would watch all night long while mom is away on a trip. The stuff toys that he won for me at the country fair. Everything."

We both look over some of the stuff in the box. Reminiscing and laughing at old times.

"You know what's sad. The first night after we broke up, I threw the box at the garbage. I walk away and I didn't even reach my front porch before I started running to the garbage and bringing back the box to my room. It's pathetic. I can't even bring myself to return his stuff to him. It makes it final, you know."

"Gabs, what the hell are you doing? You want to be with him so why aren't you doing anything about it?"

I look at her and to be honest, I have no idea what I'm doing either. I miss him. I love him. I have forgiven him. But I can't bring myself to go over to him and tell him that we're going to be okay.

Taylor looks right at me and in a sudden moment of clarity, as if she suddenly discovered all the world's secrets, she says, "You're scared. You're scared that Troy will hurt you again."

"I have a right to be."

"Gabriella, you listen and you listen well. Troy is _not_ your father. He's not. Stop punishing Troy for your father's mistake. Yes, it was stupid of Troy to get drunk and cheat on you but he's not your father. Stop comparing the two."

I look at her in awe. Damn, she does have me pegged. There's no use denying her statement. I have been punishing Troy because of exactly what she said. I've never admitted it out loud, heck, I haven't even admitted it to myself but to hear Taylor say it, I suddenly have an epiphany and realized the truth in her words.

Troy is nothing like my father and no matter how much Troy screws up in the end, he'll never hurt me the same way that my father hurt my mother and I. Troy has always put my feelings above his own and every defense and reason I have for not getting back together with him slowly crumbles.

"Tay, I think I made a mistake."

"Oh, come here, Gabs."

We sat there, with Taylor comforting me and I realize that I have to do something.

His words rush back to me. _"It gets too hard and you leave."_ And he's right. I didn't even fight for him. I just gave up. Just like that, I ended one of the best things that happened to me because I was afraid.

"I have to do something Taylor."

"You just go right up to him. And tell him how you feel. Tell him you've forgiven him. Tell him that you love him."

"But what if he..."

"Don't. You and I know that Troy will welcome you with open arms. He's guilty and he knows it. He loves you Gabriella. Nothing else matters. It's just you and him."

"Thanks Taylor. I don't know what I did to deserve you."

"What are best friends for."

We hug and she looks at me sheepishly.

"Gabs, sorry for calling you pathetic."

I smile.

"Well, someone had to bring some sense into me. And I guess we're even considering that I called you a bitch."

Her phone starts ringing and she tells me that she has to leave.

"Wish me luck."

"Its not like you need it, Gabs. Now, go get your man."

I begin getting ready to see Troy when Taylor comes up to my room again.

"Hey. Just remember, it's impossible to find a guy who won't ever hurt you. They're guys for pete sake's. They can't help being stupid."

We both share a laugh.

"But seriously. They're guys. You know what my mom told me, 'Go for a guy who will make the pain worthwhile', and I know that he's worth it Gabriella."

"Thanks, Taylor."

She walks away again and before she reaches the door, I say, "He's more than worth it, Tay. Troy is worth it."

She smiles and for the first time in weeks, I'm happy.

* * *

I'm not planning on writing a one-shot for the Troyella reunion but then again, I didn't plan on writing this particular one-shot either. Its a given that they are getting back together, but who knows? I might be inspired to write a continuation showing them making up in the future. We'll see. 

Comments? Suggestions?


End file.
